The hardest Mile I've Ever walked

I guess the reason why we could never work things out is because you were too proud to forgive me for something I really was sorry for.

To let go isn't to forget, not think about, or ignore. It doesn't leave feelings of anger, jealousy, or regret. Letting go isn't winning, and it isn't losing. It's not about pride, and it's not about how you appear, and it's not obsessing or dwelling on the past. Letting go isn't blocking memories or thinking sad thoughts, and doesn't leave emptiness, hurt or sadness. It's not giving in or giving up. Letting go isn't about loss, and it's not defeat. To let go is to cherish memories, but to overcome and to move on. It is having an open mind and confidence in the future. Letting go is accepting. It is learning and experiencing and growing. To let go is to be thankful for the experiences that made you laugh, made you cry and made you grow. It's about all that you have, all that you had and all that you will soon gain. Letting go is having the courage to accept change, and the strength to keep moving. Letting go is growing up. It is realizing that the heart can sometimes be the most potent remedy. To let go is to open a door, and to clear a path and to set yourself free.

The hardest mile I've ever walked was the one away from you.

Yet, regardless if you love them or hate them, wish they would die or know that you would die without them, it matters not. Because once in your life, whatever they were to the world, they became everything to you. When you look them in their eyes, travelling into the depths of their soul, and you say a million things without the trace of sound, you know that your life is eventually consumed within the rhythmic beatings of their heart. You love them for a million reasons. No paper would do the justice. It's a thing, a feeling, only felt by you.

I forgot about you for a while, but then I saw you again in my mind, just instantly flashed back to the time when I thought that we were happy; I know I'll never hold you like that again.

All I ever did was love you too much.

I think letting you go was the smartest decision I ever made. Even though I loved you so much, I just couldn't deal with the pain. And, the times we spent together, holding each other, were the best times of my life. But no matter how much I wanted to keep you in my arms, I couldn't. I couldn't hold on to you, knowing that all you were going to do was hurt me. But right now, even though I still love you, I don't need you anymore. I don't need you to complete me. I just need you to comfort me when I'm sad, support me, and listen to me when I talk. So, I guess what I'm saying is, I'm glad we're over. I'm glad I've let go.

I've accepted that we can't be, but I've also accepted that you're going to be that one person I carry with me for the rest of my life, the one that I always going to make my heart jump a little and my stomach tie up in knots no matter how happy I am otherwise and no matter how long it's been. The one I will always secretly wish had asked me to the dance even though I am more than happy with the guy that did. Do you realize how incredibly difficult it is to accept both those things at once? It's a completely torturous situation if you stop and think about it.

Once I swore I would die for you, but I never meant .. like this.


one day you will ask me, what is more important,
you or my life? and i will answer, my life, then
you will turn around and walk away...not knowing
that you are my life...

Lucky Me pancit canton over dose

Maka lipas ang mahigit sa isang taon ay muli akong nagkaroon ng lakas ng loob na kumain ng Lucky me Instant Pancit canton. cnubukan ko kung hindi ko na sya ma aalala sa muli kong pag tikim ng na sabing pagkain, na bigo ako. dahil na alala ko parin sya, na kikita ko parin syan naka upo sa upuan nya at hinahalo ang mga sangkap ng lucky me habang ako ang nag papakulo ng tubig.

sa kasabikan ko sa instant pancit canton bumili ako ng lima at nag magaling akong kainin lahat ito kasama ng isang litrong magnolia chocolate. at kahit an hindi ko na kaya ay pinilit ko paring ubusin ang kahuhulihang hibla ng pancit canton at pinilit ko ring inumin ang kahulihulihang patak ng magnolia chocolate.

at nang yari ang kina tatakutan ko umabot na sa lalamun ko lahat ng kinain ko ng oras na iyon sobrang uhaw ako pero hindi ko makuhang maka inum ng tubig dahil nga wala ng pag lagyan. halos mag dilim ang paningin ko sa sakit ng tyan. kung na andito lang sya sasabihn nananmn nya sa akin. "nag magaling ka nanaman kasi" hehehehehehe pero masarap parin ang canton. malamang eh ma tatagalan nanaman akong kumain muli nito sa akin naranasang sakit ng tyan.

Lights, Camera, Action !!!

It was May 24 2008, ang araw na hindi ko sukat akalaing darating sa buhay ng aking kaibigan at gurong si Kuya Nilo.

Nakilala ko si kuya Nilo nung ako ay disesyete anyos pa lamang sa isang simbahan, Myembro sya ng Grupong kung tawagin at ADS (Arts & Design Services) or otherwise known as (Always Desiring to Serve jesus) sya ang production manager ng panahong iyon. naging idolo ko sya hindi lang sa pag hawak ng pinsel ganun din sa galing nya sa computer, kakaunti pa lang ang marunong gumamit ng photo shop by that time pero kami ay nag papaka dalubhasa na sa pag gamit nito. nanalo kami ng 2nd place sa 2nd graphic expo, nagkaron ng mga proyekto, at kung wala kaming pera ay ginagawa naming negosyo ang pag sali sa mga drawing contest.

Masyadong malawak ang nais marating ni Kuya nilo hanggat nag sanha sangha na ang aming kalaman mag mula sa simpleng graphics eh natuto syang mag 3d animation, video editing, web designing, programing halos ata lahat ng pwedeng pagka kitaan sa computer ay nais nyang ma tutunan at ang na kakatuwa ay lagi nya akong kasama hindi nya ipinag damot sa akin ang lahat ng kanyang na lalaman .

hinding hindi ko makakalimutan nung minsang may isang proyekto kaming na ngangailangan ng flash. nung panahon na iyon ay hindi namin alam kung ano iyon. pero nagka ipitan na kaya umoo sya sa pyekto, at ng natapos ang meeting tinanong ko sya kuya nils marunong ka ba ng flash? sagot nya HINDI kaya punta tayo ng book store bili tayo ng book. langya kung ako ay isang cartoons malamang eh na laglag ang panga ko sa lupa. pero na tapos namin ang proyektong iyon.

marami ring naging kasintahan si kuya nilo at marami ring naging break ups. at itong huli ay na kilala nya si ate pau na syang naging kasama namin sa bawat video coverage namin andun din sya sa pag pupuyat ni kuya nilo sa pag lalaro namin ng online-games. minsan pag kumukuha kami ng video sa kasal binibiro ko si ate pau, kailan kaya darating ang araw na ikaw naman ang kukunan ko. na tatawa lang sya dahil hindi pa ata sya ni yayakag ni kuya nilo. hanggang sa dumating ang Mayo 24 2008 ang araw ng kanilang kasal.

Hinding hindi ko ma kakalimutan ang sabi ni ate pau kay kuya nilo sa kanilang wedding vows. ito ang sabi nya " Nilo hindi ko akalain na ma kikita kita ngayon dito " then tears fell down from their eyes pati ako ay na iyak dahil matapos ang napakaraming pag subok at sakit na dinanas ni kuya nilo eh naka tagpo din sya ng kapahingahan. matapos ang ceremony nag salita ulit si ate pau at nag pasalamat sa lahat at sabi nya " meng salamat dati tayo ang nakuha ngayon ako na ang kinukuhan nyo " natuwa ako at naalala ang ko isang text mula sa babaeng minahal ko.

" I believe in happy endings
Though I've only known a few
For as rare as they are
Like a bright falling star
I found one in you"

Pain In My Heart

Tuwing Umaga na dadaanan ko ang Manila Bay on my way to work. hindi ko ma ipaliwanag ang sayang na raramdaman ko sa tuwing na kikita ko ang pag sikat ng araw. at sa tuwing papasok ako sa opisina sakto laging tinutugtog ang kantang "pain in my heart" ni arnel pineda. sa tuwing ma ririnig ko ito ako ay na labas ng opisina dahil sa ayaw kong malungkot. pero ngayon nag text ang kaibigan kong si kyle at sinabing aalis daw si kris. hindi ko alam ang na ramadaman ko ng na basa ko ang kanyang text.

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sinearch ko sa youtube ang kantang "pain in my heart" at ito sya :

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http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=uIt7IVTRlr8

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Here I am alone in this empty room

And let my mind just fly you to the end

Thoughts of you still linger in my memory

Wondering why my life is not that fair

I could still recall

Those memories of you

The joy and all your laughter

The love thast we've been through Oh,

I can't believe you're gone Oh, no

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Talkin' to myself for no reasons I could find

Findin' out why everything went wrong

Tears falling down my cheeks that

I've been trying to hold

It doesn't know if I could still go on

I wanted you to stay

The tears begin to show

You said you cared for me

But then you had to go

And now I know you're gone

But I don't want to remember

The things (we used to do/that we've been through)

And all the things that remind me of you

I don't want to hear the songs

The songs we used to sing

'Coz I don't wanna feel the pain in my heart

I just can't believe you're gone

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No, no...

I don't wanna feel

Yeah, I don't wanna feel the pain in my heart

I don't wanna feel, don't know what went wrong

Oohh...

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nilalaman ng kantang ito ang lahat ng gusto kong sabihin sa kanya. kahit ang video ay saktong sakto sa aming dalawa. maaring hindi mo ma intindihan kung bakit pero pag na panood nya yan alam ko ma iintindihan nya. /no1

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pinilit kong umiwas sa kanya pero walang araw na hindi ko na sambit ang kanyang pangalan. at habang pina kikinggan ko ang kantang ito sa youtube nakabasa ako ng isang comment at ito yun.

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"you see how she grow with your guidance, all the pain just disappear... and just smile in your heart will remind..."

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at ngayong aalis na sya ulit. tanggap ko na dahil alam kong magiging masaya sya.

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"kaya natin to jo" -gaba guildmaster of the notorious clan /no1

Color It Pink

Im now on the 3rd week of my new JOB and you will never believe kung saan ako na padpad ngayon. Isa ako ngayong Graphic Designer sa PINKBOX, para sa mga hindi na kaka alam ang PINKBOX ay ang tindahan ng mga kikay kitz na ma tatagpuan sa inyong mga paboritong malls at ma kiki rin ang aming produkto sa watzons, at tama sya yung mino model ni carmina at ng anak nyang si casy, kami din ang nag poprovide ng kikay kitz sa anak ni ruth sa patayin sa sindak si barbara pati ng manika nitong may sanib.



Talagang na bigla ako sa aking bagong trabho mula sa heavy graphics ay na padpad ako sa pag dedesenyo ng mga graphic sa pang ipit, charms at kung ano-anong kalandian. as see on the picture above one of the first design na ginawa ko na gagamitin sa pang puyod ng buhok hehehehe. marami akong na tutunan sa bago kong trabaho, na tutunan kong hindi pala scoongies ang tawag sa panali sa buhok na yari sa garter na may naka balot na tela, ang tamang tawag pala doon ay SCRUNCHIES, at ang scoongies pala ay "dirty underwears" ang meaning sa mga english. hahahaha. at ang tinatawag ng mga ka babaihan chopsticks na itinutusok nila sa buhok nila eh LONG LOCKS ang tamang tawag.

sa aking bagong trabho isang kulay lang ang pag lalaruan mo "PINK" hindi ko alam kung hanggang kailan ako dito pero the next time na mag punta kayo sa PINKBOX isipin nyo na lang na baka ang na pili nyong desenyo ay galing sa aking malikot na isip.