"A RARE Combination Of So Many Special Things"

"I dont know kung bakit nangyayari to? i know not what to say, nor think, nor do.. today skies are all grey for me, i dont know for meng.. i haven't heard from him.. i am here to tell you my thoughts,since i have no one to talk to here,si meng lang naman lagi kong kausap o si kyle o si tong.. kanina busy si tong nandun pero saglit lang pinakita nya sa kin ung wiz nya..hindi ako nakapunta sa school para sa revision. medyo saulo ko na ung somewhere in time at lagi kong naalala kung pano namin pinanood un ni meng, 5am hehehee!!! ang ganda ng movie na yun.. namimiss ko si meng pero ayaw nya sagutin ang calls,gusto ko sana pakausap si ate cil but i think it would do no good.. ok lang,tanggap ko naman, kahit nga ng sunday,ok lang hindi na lang ako na imik,ayokong pag-awayan ang mga walang kwentang bagay, pero kung bakit ganito kami ngayon, hmmmm..... ang lungkot...

so i watch the video he gave me(na hanggang ngayon ay nagpplay pa din).. maganda,masaya, mahal ko si meng, marami ako naiisip,nakita, na-realize, i feel so blessedbut somehow, i regret the moments i should have given him compliments he needed, the way he does his work, the way carry himself.. but everything was appreciated though i may not be so vocal. last saturday night,while we're sitting along kuya nilo's place, i've been thinkin' `bout so many things. i watched him as he sit and leaned his back on wall and closed his eyes,i would have wanted to ask him to go home, kasi naaawa ako sa position nya, but i know how much he would wanted to help kuya nilo.when we're walking i appreciate how he wrapped me around his arms where i always feel warm and comfort amidst the cold breeze and darkness of midnight. when we got at 7-eleven,i love the way we choose foods to eat, i love how he looked suspiciously at every food in there(particulary at pizza bar wakokoko)i love the way he eats,i love how he got his second combo meal of hamonado pandesal and four seasons juice. i love how we share each others meals, and how he puts interest to that chuckie left in our table /gg..

i love how he protect me,i love us walking together, talking about world,life,ideas..us. there are so many things, i love and apreciate about meng, things that i dont know if he himself notice.

i love his nose,wakokoko!! yan ang una kong napansin.. i love the way he kissed and hugged gabo and yuri i see how much he love them, i love how he talk with humor and wisdom,he's different from any other man i knew. well, sige na nga i love how he thinks,kahit minsan ay out of this world(i mean madalas pala) and i love how he remind me "un nga ang minahal mo sa kin,abno". i love how he played tiberian sun kahit minsan ay bwisit ako, strategy,eh i love how he listen to my every story kahit antok na antok na sya.

i love how he kissed me goodbye and good night. i love how he wakes me up morning,and send me to bed at night.

I love how we spend days together(kahit straight TUNA ang ulam) at cympre! i love how we clean his jurassic room, kahit hirap na hirap ako habang nanonood cya ng skulls at pagvavacuum lang ang ginawa nya.

i love how he keeps the memories of the past..

i love how he gives me a peco-peco ride.and i love how he makes a peco-peco face.

i love listening to his stories,i love how we watch movies together,how we visit video city and rent 4 VCD's kahit alam namin na impossibleng mapanood namin un lahat.

i love how he listen to my tales in between the movie. i love how he kiss and hug me by surprise. i love how he put smiles on my face. i love how we set plans for our future.

i love how he gets so excited (he would probably run for rest room)i love how he cooked the corned beef with cheese. i love how we sat together sipping our coffee talking about nothing. i love his pillow my official loving,pero cympre si jo pa din ang pinaka loving,hirap lang yakapin ang laki kasi,.

i love how he hugged me till my eyes fell off to sleep. i love how he tell me "Hoy matulog ka na" "wag matigas ang ulo"

i love how he sleep on my lap while i enjoy the Phantom of the Opera, i love how he gets my attention (same as kung paano ko mang-agaw ng attention pag ayoko ng pinapanood nya)

i love to feel feel his hairs between my fingers(together w/ the flakes in it /gg) i love to rub his back and write on it. i love to tangle around his arms, (hmmm...sexy arms /gg)

i love it when he lets me watch how he brush his teeth(dati nahihiya sya) and the way he________ you know, at the sink hehehe!!!!

i love the way he asked me "asan ka na jo?" "ano suot mo?send me a pic"i love how we talk about ragnarok, my sunday hat,how we 've met, our first impressions and agony.

i love how he react as i play ragnarok as he watch "the house of flying daggers". i love how he introduce me to everyone else.. i love how he wanted me to take care of him and his things (parang baby pero ok lang,masaya nga) i love what's always inside his bag... a roll of toilet paper,vcd's and perfume.

i love him for understanding me the way he do.. mga kaabnormalan at kasupladahan..and some unspoken understanding

i love how he whispers in my ear "i love you" out of the blue.i love how he wanted to show me around different places. i love him. i love everything, strenghts and weaknesses, imperfections,uncertainties and indecisions. it comes in a package, sabi nga nya. Meng is completely a RARE combination of so many special things.(ewan ko lang pagdating ng amatsu&kunlun, but i dont think so,kakaiba cya,eh obvious naman kung paano ko sya dinescribe.db?) kung ano man un, dont know... I know what it is but there is something very special about Meng..abno? monk hat? peco? i dont know,he even have things there are no words for.i keep meng in my mind more lovingly than any thought...maybe it's the big things:THE WAY HE NEVER HESITATE TO GO A MILLION MILES OUT OF HIS WAY TO DO WHAT'S RIGHT.

i love having him to love and it was completely a blessing. i love him so much and so amazingly.i hold him in my heart more gently than any feelingi love you,jo i always have and i always will

my love is stronger though it may appear less,love is cheapened by being universally displayed."

(she use to leave me notes on a post it. ni lalagay nya ito sa mga tagong lugar para ma susupresa ako pag na kita ko ito kadalasan sa gilid ng CPU or malapit sa phone, and up to now im still hoping that meron pa syang note na hindi ko pa na kikita. alam ko meron yan na andito lang yun ma kikita ko rin yun. well this i just one of her notes na nakita kong naka save sa sa pc ko and sana when i die merong mag basa nito sa libing ko.......... happy 25th jo)